Thinking about specks.

There are two types of people in this world, both of which can be easily categorized and subsequently referred to as HAM. While trying to think about specks i discovered a theme which persists across many plat forms, and that platform in a plate covered in ham products. That is why ladies and gentle men i refer to everyone by the flavor of speck ham they are (and if you don't know what the hell speck ham is take a gander at the picture below).
SPECK-tacular ham.

 So what are these two people i speak of that are so hammy? Well the first person can be generally referred to as the salt cured ham type. These people are shriveled up shells of their former youthful, liquid endowed selves. They have a little over 1 percent liquid in their bodies and as such are very dry people. After all, salt draws liquid from... I got lazy. Sorry faggots.